12 Jan EP115: The Importance of Village | Ian and Mya
My guests for this episode are Ian MacKenzie and Mya Hardman, who will guide us on an alternate lifestyle. Together, they run a community called the Village Forum inspired by their experience communing in a Portugal village of Tamera.
Today’s episode immerses us to the idea of the community, and how it takes a village to raise children, and maintain a relationship. We discuss their relationship, their family, their experience in Tamera, and how all these links to the bigger picture of the global community.
We’ll learn on this episode:
• Ian’s background in filmmaking and activism (1:58), and Mya’s work surrounding sexuality, authenticity and the arts – which includes dance, music and writing (2:49).
• The story of how Ian and Mya connected and met which involved love, the Burning Man, the Occupy Movement, shooting films, a Portuguese Village, and the intersection of monogamy and polyamory (5:18)
• How Mya would like to redefine the concepts of failure, specifically in relationships (12:47).
• How the lack of community created a heightened expectation from our partners causing strain, which makes people hold on too much to their partners because their loss meant losing almost everything and being/feeling alone (14:42).
• Ian discussed what is Tamera, its history tracing all the way back to the 60s, and what was the intention when it was established (16:30).
• How the community in Tamera is, the culture, the people, and their behaviour (19:00).
• The culture of scarcity and people’s tendency to be Machiavellian due to society and culture, and how Tamera challenges these through the concept of love and sex without fear (23:29).
• Mya discusses the concept of jealousy from a polyamorous point of view, and how it is being used as an umbrella term for various emotions and manifestations (31:12).
• Ian expounds on how having a community provides support, an objective point of view, mediation, and healing towards a resolution (34:30).
• The myth of The One and The Disney Wound, how this causes feelings of betrayal, and the antidote to these ‘curse’, which Mya calls as ‘Staying with the Dwarves’ (39:10).
• How people perceive polyamory as non-conducive for raising children when the reality is the cliché ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ (43:30).
• Mya shared an anecdote of how children view relationships based on her daughter, and how having a community surrounding children makes life to be of better quality, easier and less exhausting (45:00).
• How interdependence and ‘villaging’ can expand a child’s perspective of the world, and how this has the same effect on the older figures in the community (51:17).
• What is needed in a community to create bonds and if needed, facilitate conflicts, and how Tamera practices this in their community (56:55).
• How this ties up to a broader vision that links this community movement in the global perspective (1:02:43).
If you want to connect with our guests more, you can reach Ian MacKenzie here and Mya Hardman/AppleCat here, or you can go to their Love Without Fear Facebook Page. connect with Ian and Mya may check the links below:
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