16 Dec Stand Out from the Crowd with Online Dating
By Nicole Haley – Online Dating, Dating and Relationship Navigator, Womans empowerment
Meeting men online can be as successful as meeting a man in person, however the key (to both) is to be unattached to the outcome. Know from the outset that you will need to interact & meet many men before you find someone you click with.
Imagine walking into a pub, coffee shop or a house party. You wouldn’t try to take home the first guy you saw would you?
For some reason when we create an online profile we have this assumption that this should be so easy because…Hey aren’t all these men single and looking to be with someone, too? True!
But the tricky part comes when we read men’s profiles and fall in love with the idea of who is he on Paper.
In reality, chemistry and attraction needs to be established in Person – that one-on-one interaction that allows you to read body language, feel the energy between you, and sense if there is enough curiosity or desire, early on, to kiss or hold hands at some point.
It sounds basic but it’s true, ladies. So it’s very important that as soon as you can, take your online dating into the real world and meet the person, not the words!
Top Tips and Strategies
Have Professional Photos Taken
Trust me it’s worth the extra expense and time. Men are visual creatures and they won’t bother to read a word if they can’t see the woman of their dreams first. Your smiling head shot is the open doorway inviting him to read the rest of your profile. This photo needs to show off how exciting and enticing you are. Then you want to have 5-7 photos that represent you in your best light. Make sure to include a full body shot and a few that show you doing something active that you enjoying doing.
Describe the Man You Want
At the top of your profile before you begin describing yourself, write in 3-4 sentences what type of man you are looking for – in a way that is fun and interesting. Avoid stating what you don’t want and focus on how you want to feel being with him and what qualities make you happy. Such as: “Being in the arms of a confident man makes me feel safe and happy. We enjoy sharing a great joke between us that keeps us laughing through the day.”
Tell Stories About You
Write your profile in a way that describes who you are in a few, short story-like paragraphs, but don’t give away the whole story. Keep it short and sweet.
You want to create curiosity about you, but avoid using ‘I’ too often. Use imagery that allows him to see himself and want to be a part of your story. Change dry writing to an intriguing quick read. It’s just a trailer, a preview of coming attractions. For example, swap out: “I like cooking with my special partner” to ” the best way to share a meal with someone is creating it in the kitchen together first. You add a bit of this and I’ll add a bit of that and who knows it might be the most amazing meal we’ve ever eaten…or maybe it’s the wine that helps make it taste so good!”
Sending the First Message
Start with a compliment that would reflect something you read or saw in his profile such as: “You’re easy on the eyes” or “It takes an adventurous man to spend numerous days in the backcountry camping…”, or “You have an intriguing mind to want to read_____book.” Rather then starting with “Hey, how are you doing?”
Avoid messages like “Come and check out my profile and see if you like it.” This type of statement indicates that you are uncertain about yourself and portrays you as needy and lacking confidence. Remember every man you send a message to or view his profile is instinctively going to look at yours. You don’t need to tell him to.
Meet In Person
Send 2-3 emails, a phone call, a couple of texts and then meet in person.
You will only know if you click once you meet in person. Remember, he might be as nervous as you are. Women don’t always feel the chemistry immediately. Don’t write him off after the first date. Go on a second date and explore if there is potential for something more.
Have fun interacting with lots of men. Who knows what kinds of friendships and connections will come from meeting a variety of new men. Take the pressure off that you need to find the “right one” immediately.
See it as opportunity to practice your skills of being in your feminine energy and enjoy a great cup of coffee with a potential new friend or lover.