EP160: Sex Work Secrets from an Ex-Madam | Raven

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If you’re interested in the art of seduction and even sex work, it is known that the allure of the Japanese Geisha is unrivaled in the erotic world. It’s an art and finesse that is not observed in most cultures – especially the Western ones – and this episode will let you have a peek at it.

Raven is a retired sex worker, who went to Japan at a young age to escape a humdrum routine she calls life. There she learned the art and trade of being a modern geisha and a high-end-escort-slash-sex-worker, under the care of a mama-san who ensures the clients treat the women in her club like princesses.

Today, Raven and I talked about the nitty gritty of the adult entertainment, escort service, and sex work. She then provides insights from both provider and client point of view of the industry.

Our conversation took us on her 15-year journey in the sex industry where we discussed:

• How she decided to leave school, her job and then partner for a Japan trip and how this supposed 3-month itinerary extended to 3 years which became her start in the adult entertainment industry (2:18).
• The transition from working at a hostess club to her introduction to escort service and sex work as a geisha (3:33; 11:51).
• The fancy setting, the princess treatment, the training on how to interact and be affectionate with clients, how to anticipate a man’s needs, and the emotional connection geishas provide their clients (; 12:39).
• The courtship and intricacies involved for a client to bring a hostess out of the club which is based on the principle of mutual respect where the mama-san and the women communicate and negotiate with the clients (16:01).
• How people’s point of views and judgment is shaped by the society they grew up in, the level of acceptance of the practice of having escorts in Japan, and an instance when she was introduced to the client’s wife (18:10).
• Coming back to the US, treading the escort service and sex industry, and its difference to the etiquette and safety standards upheld in Japan (5:20; 20:25).
• Getting to know the US sex industry which is mostly run by men based on a pimp-hoe dynamics, wanting to fix this setting, starting her own agency with an objective to make booking ladies as easy and comfortable as booking a haircut, and finally a virtual assistance service for high-end escorts (6:03; 21:15).
• What she regards as a notable achievement with her business operations shifting how law enforcement sees the escort service industry, making it much safer, and the protocol where her workers go through one-on-one legal talk to empower them (8:01).
• Dealing with clients you’re not attracted to – which entails emotional work, pulling from compassion and genuine love, a principle rooted from her geisha background where sex workers are not only being paid for the performance but the connection too (24:19).
• Safety and security issues she experienced including dealing with the legalities, screening clients, and safeguarding worker’s health, on a physical level like STDs, and on an emotional/psychological aspect by setting boundaries and dealing with violence (29:49).
• The screening process which involves getting identification, references, work verification and how it significantly improved with the help of technology (34:05).
• Red flags for sex workers to turn away clients with shady characters, and on the other end how can clients verify the provider and service they are availing (39:15).
• Her insights and options on how sex workers should work in the industry, providing each option’s benefits and drawbacks (44:05).
• How her company does marketing and leads generation for their providers (50:20).
• Her stance on the idea that sex workers are not supposed to enjoy their work (54:40).

Relevant Links
Preferred 411.com | Escort Listings and Client Verification Service
To reach Raven, email info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com with “Raven Sex Work” on the subject line.

Now, this is just the first part of Raven’s interview, and to be honest, the wealth of information she’s provided me on this first part alone about the industry, as well as the client-provider relationship, is very insightful – and I can’t wait to talk to her again and learn even more.

Make sure to catch the upcoming episode where we delved on her role as a madam, caring for her workers, tips for sex workers and even more lessons she’s learned in the industry.

Enjoyed this episode? Do you have feedback or questions that I might not have raised today? I want to hear your thoughts!

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