13 Apr EP154: Having A Sex Life After Childbirth | Victoria Baitson
I recently got in touch with some old friends from University. One of them said that she had been listening to the Modern SexTalks Podcast, but the information she really wanted as a mother, wasn’t there – which is the exact reason why I got in touch with Victoria Baitson.
Victoria has always been fascinated in sex even before she was interested in having it. By 2015, she made it official and made it her profession to help women feel sexy after giving birth. She owns and operates Euphoric Epiphany where she serves as a sexual wellness coach for moms. She felt passionate about helping moms find the balance between their motherhood role and their role as a sexual being after noticing that many of her mom friends felt that sex was no longer a priority in their relationship.
Now, I am not a woman nor have I birthed a child, so I fumble my way through parts of this interview (not exactly my smoothest day on the field), but Victoria did a great job shedding light on the subject. Some of the topics we discussed are:
• What is it about motherhood that makes women less interested in sex, lose their identities and interests outside of their child/ren, what brakes and accelerators are, and the importance of letting the partners know where and what moms need help with (4:15).
• What sexiness is outside of the conventional definition, her personal techniques on how moms can remain sexy and sexual beyond the physical gratification (10:46; 14:50; 16:24 ), and how to reignite bond with partners when moms get attached to the baby too much (18:08).
• How soon can a woman have intercourse after childbirth, what to do if there are still discomfort or pain past the doctors’ prescribed period (14:50), and how to spot post-partum depression or anxiety (19:35).
• Her mantra ‘Vanilla isn’t boring if you enjoy it’, why people view conventional sex as boring and feel the need kinkier sex, how this mindset causes further problems (21:15) and how to spice it up without going too far through the Want/Will/Won’t list (22:53).
• The two levels of desire, which type moms and people in a long-term relationship are more likely to experience, and how deeper connections allow the parties involved to voice out what they want to try and ensure that they are sexually satisfied (26:23).
• Feelings of unattractiveness, poor body image for new moms, body changes that women go through, how these can affect women’s sex drive creating a vicious cycle for the relationship, and how their partners can help deal with it (30:42; 35:35; 45:05).
• Women suffer slowing from weight problems years after childbirth, how it affects women and relationships, and how to get help – physically, emotionally, and mentally if it becomes a problem (40:06).
• What partners can do to help moms feel sexy, the importance of slowing down, finding out each other’s love language, and communicating when it comes to sex (32:40; 46:40).
This is definitely a very eye-opening episode that lets us understand sexuality from a mother’s perspective – which is rarely talked about. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and learn with me on today’s episode.
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