EP166: Make Love, Not Porn | Cindy Gallop

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What is social sex, and how is it different from porn?
Make Love Not Porn founder Cindy Gallop joined me on the show to define and distinguish between the two.

Cindy is a brand marketing and advertising maven of over 30 years. She accidentally created Make Love Not Porn (MLNP) with the objective of getting people to talk about sex, educating the masses, and bridging the gap between two distinct areas of the internet – non-sexual content and porn. She gave a brave and witty TED Talk back in 2009 which drew global attention as she talked about launching Make Love Not Porn, and the problems well ingrained in the society surrounding this subject.

Cindy very eloquently talked about Make Love Not Porn’s mission, and the need for a real-world resource for sex. Just some of the points we’ve tackled includes:

  • How a 30-year marketing and advertising career, dating younger men and a controversial TED Talk led to the creation of Make Love Not Porn (2:08).
  • Her motivation in creating MLNP, and uncovering a global social issue on the lack of sex education, and the role porn involuntarily played and filled in (5:34).
  • The background behind MLNP’s tagline iterating that porn isn’t the problem, instead, the issue lies in our society’s refusal to talk about sex (7:00).
  • Her mission to use technology to socialize sex and make talking about real world sex socially acceptable (and shareable) in all its mess, silliness, beauty and humanness (8:51).
  • The importance of teaching sex values and proper sexual behavior, and how presenting porn as not solely catered for men can lessen, if not end, sexual harassment, abuse and rape culture (15:02).
  • The problems posed when things learned and picked up from porn is affecting real life interactions and connections (19:07).
  • The concept of social sex other than a masturbatory platform is also a powerful medium to encourage sex- and body positivity: celebrating real bodies, real emotions, situations and circumstances when people have sex in the real world (22:27; 34:25).
  • The battle Cindy is fighting with the difficulties of starting, financing, operating and marketing a business about sex, sex education and adult content because of societal bias and prejudice (25:33).
  • How she aims to be the Khan Academy of Sex Education to teach about relationships, intimacy, and sexual well-being (32:14).
  • Her vision of a platform where sex and erotica content like books, videos, photography, and other art forms can be featured and marketed to the mainstream (35:22).
  • The concept behind social sex as an extension of how people celebrate their relationships, just like sharing engagements, weddings, and moments in social media, and how they deal with and ensure consent, anonymity, and content ownership (37:15).
  • The prime contributors sharing social sex in support of MLNP’s mission and as a transformative experience for themselves and their relationships (41:10).
  • How the internet has divided into two distinct categories – porn and non-sexual content, and how to leverage the seemingly gray space of sexual content that is not porn (44:31).
  • A plea she has for entrepreneurs who might be interested in impact investing with MLNP and people who would love to help fund the advocacy it stands for (49:01).
  • The stigma and semantics surrounding the enjoyment of sex and watching other people have sex, and how MLNP aims to shift this (51:15).

Relevant Links:
Make Love Not Porn TV
Make Love Not Porn Social Sex Revolution | I Fund Women
Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn | TED
Make Love Not Porn
Make Love Not Porn | YouTube
Cindy Gallop (@makelovenotporn) | Twitter
Cindy Gallop | Facebook
Cindy Gallop (@cindygallop) | Twitter

That was an educating and empowering episode with Cindy Gallop. I believe in her mission and I recommend that everyone help out in this advocacy to create a more sex-positive society.

Did you enjoy the episode? I would love to hear your thoughts or questions. I’d also love it if you can share this to your social networks so The Intimate Lifestyle and Make Love Not Porn can reach more people and gain support.

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