13 Nov Is it finally time to resolve your sexual issues?
By Eyal Matsliah – Tantra & Sexuality coach, healer and workshop facilitator
As a sexuality coach, i chat with many people about their sexuality and sexual issues
And what i hear isn’t pleasant. Most men I speak with have issues with their performance in bed, lasting longer, or bringing their partner to orgasm. Some love women but afraid to approach them. Others are in a relationship but the passion has dried up. And most men feel a confusion about what it means to be a man in this day and age.
Women have other issues. Most women i speak with have difficulty reaching orgasm. It might happen sometimes with the right person under the right circumstances or they only have clitoral orgasms and feel depleted and dissatisfied afterwards. Or they don’t orgasm at all. They feel disconnected from their body, their femininity and their sexuality. They feel dry. They feel stuck in their mind and acting with masculine force rather than feminine intuition.
These issues make these men and women frustrated, anxious, or even depressed. It isn’t just about sex and relationships. It makes them feel less confident. They lack the physical and mental energy to share their gift with the world. They feel less creative and less “on to it”.
If you believe in mind-body connection, just take a look at the common diseases and ailments that people suffer from. Notice how many of them are related to sexual and reproductive health.
But most people i encounter, regardless of their suffering, come up with stories and excuses to justify why they don’t take action:
- I’m single
- I’m in a relationship but my partner doesn’t support me in doing this
- I’m too busy at work
- I need to wait for the kids to leave home
- I need to wait till i finish studies
- I’m doing this astrology/healing/massage/exercise/whatever course and i believe it will help me (hint: it wouldn’t)
- I can’t afford your program/workshop/coaching because i’m going to a meditation retreat / burning man / vacation / whatever
- I’m too old (really? i know 65 year old women who became multi orgasmic after a few weeks of practice)
- It’s not the right time
- I know your program/system/approach worked for others, but i don’t feel it would work for me. I need something different
- I trust god and I know things will get better
Honestly, it makes me sad and frustrated and even a bit angry to see and hear this.
I see and hear their pain, their suffering, their yearning for a better life, and i see how they are creating stories and excuses to justify not taking action.
I witness some people dealing with the same stuff for years.
I see them at events or read their posts on FB or hear about their ongoing issues from their friends.
I want to help people.
I have the information, the tools, and the experience.
But I keep hearing these sorry-ass stories and excuses.
PEOPLE: WAKE THE FUCK UP!
Sexuality is not the most important aspect of life, but if you have some issues there, it is the aspect you need to focus on.
Your sexuality affects every aspect of your life.
And as long as you don’t address your sexuality, all other aspects are going to be affected – your relationship, your career, your creativity, your wellbeing and your spiritual practice.
You can pretend all you like, but deep down you know that you’ve been dealing with this stuff for too long, and it’s not getting better.
Whatever you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, otherwise you wouldn’t be where you’re at.
Understand that you are stopping yourself from dealing with this stuff for two reasons:
- There is pain and suffering that you are afraid to deal with. I know that it might be easier to lock it away, but can you see that the longer you wait, the more pain and more serious issues you will need to deal with down the road?
- The 2nd reason is that deep down, you don’t really love yourself. You don’t really feel worthy of the pleasure and magic of meaningful sex, the bliss of a sacred union with another person, and all the gifts it could bring to your life. You probably keep judging and criticizing yourself. Are you aware of this voice inside your head? Again, this isn’t just about sex. The inner critic stops you from being who you were meant to be, from expressing your deepest gifts, and from really making a difference in people’s lives.
Blog Post by Eyal Matsliah. Eyal help’s conscious business men use their MOJO to unleash their full potential. Read more about his mission, check out his free ejaculation-control course, or enjoy some articles, videos and interviews here.