EP196: Learn how to Control through Surrender | Dr Gayle Friend

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Setting boundaries and keeping control are common issues people face that causes anxiety. It gets even more frustrating when it is in the realm of relationships. One has to wonder, is it possible to just let go and surrender?

Dr. Gayle Friend is a doctor of human sexuality. As she works with clients and their issues, she realized that more often than not, sex problems are results of intimacy and relationship problems. She devoted a significant time of her life helping people open up, discover their true selves, learn to become better partners, and have healthier relationships through self-love.

She’s joined the podcast a while back, where she talked about igniting love. This time around, our conversation revolved around dealing with unavoidable turbulences in relationships. She talks about the concept of surrender, and how it can be the secret towards a more fulfilling relationship. In a world that is filled with fear, doubt, frustrations, and anxiety, she reminds us to take a step back and surrender the things that are not serving us.

Some of the topics we’ve discussed in our chat include:
• The romantic relationship trifecta and how these three concepts are interrelated (05:45).
• Why is it unavoidable to have issues with control in relationships, and how it seeps into the sexual facet of relationships (11:23)?
• What does surrendering mean, and what are we giving up in this process (07:52; 15:28)?
• How our past experiences and pain resurfaces as coping mechanisms to keep ourselves protected (15:54).
• The continuous process of pain, resentment, and anxiety, and how surrendering these things opens up to a broader experience in life (17:14).
• Why Dr. Gayle thinks being focused on the outcome is being focused on the problem (19:11).
• The realizations that came along with shaving my beard and my journey in life so far (23:31).
• The notion of fighting to stay together during an argument, and how to have deeper connections (28:07).
• How of hitting rock bottom in her relationship gave her a greater understanding of the concept of surrender (03:33; 34:35).
• The deep awareness required to surrender, and how doing so allows for authenticity (38:50).
• Understanding your boundaries so that it comes from a place of love and compassion (41:54).
• Allowing our relationships to shine a light on parts of us that need to heal (45:53).
• Scenarios manifesting effortless living (47:22).
• How to live an effortless life and relationship by communicating your desires and boundaries from a loving place (49:50).

What Dr. Gayle shared today are very useful information on how to better traverse our relationships and get to know ourselves. Her message is insightful and quite timely with what I went through and going through. I’m really glad I was able to get her back on the show.

If you have issues in your relationships, check out Dr. Gayle Friend’s website and check out this gift that she is would like to share with everyone http://www.makelovegreat.com/sayitwithlove so you can start working on your relationships too!

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