02 Dec How to conquer SELF-CRITICISM and fall in love with your INNER POWER?
By Karolina Tatarenkova – Sex Therapist, relationship coach & counsellor
It can be a very powerful process to pay attention to your behaviours that you want to improve. It is a healthy way to increase self-awareness and achieve your goals in life. However, it becomes problematic when you start criticizing yourself for every little thing that it becomes your second nature.
When you find yourself drowning in self-criticism you often face a barrier to a healthy self-esteem because it prevents you from learning from your mistakes. If fact, you stop making major decisions all together because you don’t want to fail and prove yourself that you are not enough AGAIN.
Self-criticism will never be an effective strategy in overcoming unwanted habits or patterns from the past. Sometime individual counselling or self-love coaching is the best and quickest way to overcome self-criticism.
What does self-criticism do to you?
First, it prevents you from taking risks. And I am not referring to Bangy Jumping type of behaviour but rather decision that can and WILL take your life to the next level. As a result, you stop making decisions at all because you don’t want to fail.
But only by making many “bad” decisions you can grow a muscle called GOOD DECISIONS.
If you are hard on yourself, you also tend to have challenges in asserting your opinion. Do you have hard times saying “NO?” So many people do. You are not alone. I know that fear of not getting someone’s approval or love if you say NO. It’s powerful, but you are are more powerful!
Last but not least, people who score high on self-criticism tend to not believe in themselves. This translates to their career, intimate relationship choice, health and wellness.
How you detect self-criticism?
It’s a thought that targets “WHO AM I?” – It defines or describes you or your identity.
I’m a failure I can’t do anything right
Why don’t I get what I deserve
I will never get it
All these statement go after you – your soul, your heart and your mind.
What to do instead?
A very powerful way to start working on self-criticism is to focus on your behaviour because this is something you can change. By focusing on your behaviour, you also reinforcing your self-confidence.
I need to go to the gym vs. I’m a pig..I’m fat…I’m a lazy ass
I lashed on my husband for no good reason, I should take more time to relax and de-stress the relationship next time
It’s a journey. I should be more patient.
To find out more about Karolina and what she offers. Go to passioninlove.com