EP182: Are you addicted to escaping your relationships? | Ben Goresky

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When we say addiction, we automatically think drugs. But addiction can be about almost anything – sex addiction, porn, food, literally anything.

Whatever form of addiction one may have, there is one common thing that gets messed up, and that is our relationships. This is what Ben and I wanted to unpack in our conversation.

Ben Goresky is an addiction counselor, helping other men through Evolving Man, where he provides resources on relationships, masculinity, and health. What’s interesting with Ben was he suffered from addiction and was sent to rehab when he was just 15 years old. It is this personal experience that allowed him to coach and provide counsel to other addicts effectively and with credibility. It’s with this experience as an addictions counsellor that he’s able to coach men with compassion through the many challenges they’ve been faced with that hold them back in love and life.

In this episode, we discussed:

• A brief background of his life, relationship, and his current projects, initiatives, and involvements (2:17).
• His addiction to escape, the substances he’s used and getting acquainted with other addicts in rehab (6:20).
• What he experienced and saw inside rehab, and the mentality that made him think that he should be deeper into drugs (7:53).
• How an addict’s mind works, and what he sees as the foundation of addiction in one’s consciousness (11:04; 18:40).
• The addict’s grand narrative before discovering drugs, while doing drugs, and the vicious cycle involved in it (12:45).
• Personal experiences, feelings, and actions under the influence of drugs as a teenager (16:50).
• The uniqueness of each addiction and the intensity of the experiences people get out of it (20:40).
• How Ben got clean through his father’s persistence, rehabilitation, counseling, by ‘hitting bottom’, and a realization of what’s actually happening (25:55).
• The importance of fostering relationships and building credibility as a coach when helping others overcome addiction (36:50).
• The first phase of the 12 steps to recovery and how it gets the addict to face the pain (39:55).
• How addiction would’ve changed the trajectory of his life and relationships, and the personal growth and self-help activities he continuously took to improve his current life and relationships (44:24).
• What shadow work is, how it affects people’s behaviors and relationships, and how it manifests in different people (47:13).
• How the changes he’s gone through and lessons learned allowed him to be grateful for the life and relationships he has right now (51:03).

This was a thoughtful conversation that laid out the origins of addiction and understanding early recovery. If you or someone you know would benefit from having a coaching session with Ben, you can reach him through his website Evolving Man, his Facebook page Evolving Man Coaching, or email him at ben [at] evolvingman.ca.

Appreciate the time you took to listen to the show, if you have feedback, questions or suggestion about this episode or for the show, email me at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com – I’d love to hear them!

If you have questions, feedback, or suggestions on the episode or the show, I’d love to hear it – email us at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com.

If you liked this episode, you’ll probably like this interview with Connor Beaton on Men and Masculinity.

For feedback and inquiries, give me a shout out at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com – I make sure to read all of those. Help us out by leaving a rating and a review in iTunes.

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